The Start of a Movement

The Start of a Movement

Most people at some point in their lives have a moment, some point of clarity that might even be construed as an inspiration. One of mine occurred a short while ago. It wasn’t really a moment or single instant but rather a slow simmering of an idea that evolved over a couple of weeks and came together when all the stars aligned.

My first moment of inspiration came about when I decided to host a bike race. Now hosting a bike race isn’t really that monumental of an idea. Certainly not an epiphany by any stretch. That will come later in this story. But of course my idea of how to properly hold a bike race runs tangent to what most would consider normal. No surprise there. My basic thoughts were 3 fold. First in any race there is too large a disparity between the fastest and slowest riders even when broken out by ability categories. Secondly there seems to either not be enough racing, or maybe too much of the same thing. Finally, so many race venues and the surrounding vibe are just plain vanilla boring. So I set off to “fix” these problems and Double Cross was born.

To solve issue # 1: How can I level the playing field to even out a rather huge range of talent. Hmmmm? Double Cross # 1. The race director (me) has the right at any point in time make riders repeat parts of the course. That’s right, kind of like Chutes and Ladders. Ride too fast and BAM you go back and repeat a section.

Issue # 2 was a little more challenging but ultimately helped with issue 1 as well. We would hold 2 races back to back. Double Cross or 2 cross races. Now the beauty of this second race allows the race organizer (me again) to again handicap the faster riders. The start sequence for race # 2 will be reverse finishing order of race number one with some predetermined time gap between racers. So the slower races will in effect get a head start on the faster ones.

Issue # 3 was perhaps the biggest stumper. How can we make cyclocross racing even more fun than it is? Well for starters we will need a groovy sound track with some thumpin’ 70”s disco music. Throw in a disco ball, some beer and the hottest gogo/podium girls in all of Saltsburg and you no longer have a bike race but rather an unbelievable party. And sure enough when all these items came together it became an epic event by all accounts!

Now let’s move to the true epiphany that befell me in a rather serendipitous manner. (Where is my creative writing teacher who failed me for poor vocabulary now?) Anyhow back to the breakthrough. After the blowout success of Double Cross I was behind me, it was time to up the anti. How can I make the whole bike race thing even more fun? Well like so many other things….make it stoooopider silly.

Right then, clunker cross was born. Let me explain. Clunker Cross started as an idea where riders would bring any old beater to race on a short course cyclocross style track with lots of tight twisty off camber turns that would make bike handling difficult at best. The original idea was for everyone to draw a random clunker from the pile and then have a mass start race in excellent view of the spectators where they could watch and laugh at a bunch of buffoons racing ill equipped bikes and crashing all over the place. Well the spectators would have an excellent view except for the race being held at night, but that’s another story. At least that was the plan until only a couple clunkers were deemed worthy of racing. Then a second bit of serendipity occurred. Mark showed up with a clunker. A truly worthy candidate that he was very stoked to show me. “Check out this baby Mike,” he exclaimed. There she was, an early 80’s teal green Schwinn Woodlands comfort cruiser, complete with spattered black paint accents. It was spectacular! Perfect for Clunker Cross. I know that many of you bike snobs are having a hard time getting jacked about such a bike. And typically I wouldn’t either. Except I had the exact same bike, sitting in my garage, also waiting to be ridden in Clunker Cross. That’s when it happened, the birth of The Woodlands Memorial Double Cross Clunker Relay Race.

So now the second race for Double Cross II was going to be a team relay race where each team would pass along one of the wonderful Schwinn Woodlands to his teammates, like a baton. Well like a baton except this baton has two wheels and you ride it. To add to the stupidity, we’d add a mandatory beer hand-up right after the start of race. If you can imagine a bunch of mediocre bike racers riding around a challenging course in the dark on ill equipped bikes while being at least marginally incapacitated equals way too much fun and just perhaps the start of a movement!

DOUBLE CROSS 2 aka 2XII

DOUBLE CROSS II aka 2XII

Sponsored by Fast Like Pancakes Promotions

When: 10-22-10

• 6:00 course opens for practice


• 6:45 KIDS race


• 7:00 DC # 1- 4 lap race-course similar to last time. Lights will be necessary. (and yes you will have to hit the gong)


• 8:30 DC#2-Clunker Cross. If possible, bring a beater. ANY kind of bike will do. Road, MTB, Cross, BMX, comfort, tricycle. ANYTHING. Flat pedals on the clunker please. Street value of your clunker under $100. Clunker Cross will be short cross format


• 9:00 General frivolity, camp fire, live music, fun

Where: Saltsburg

Why: Fun

Who: Invitation Only for racers-please ask if you want to invite a friend to race. Spectators-general party attendees-come one come all

Entry Fee: 6-pack of beer and 1 jack-o-lantern. Yes you are still encouraged to drink your entry fee before, during or after the race. However, I claim ALL leftovers, so bring something good

Costume: Not required, but encouraged

Food: Hot apple cider, s’ mores, hot chocolate, snaps -n-dips provided. Maria will try to have a little pasta salad or something for anyone coming from work and who is unable to eat prior to arrival. Pizza delivered around 9:00-feel (feel free to chip in for pizza.) Bring anything else you want to eat or drink

Hold Harmless/Last Will and Testament-required

Double Cross Course Map

DOUBLE CROSS INVITE-RSVP Please:)

Double Cross 1

Fast Like Pancakes Race Promotions

What? 2XCross race. Well actually 2.

When? Friday September 24, 2010 Preride course starting at 6PM. First race at 7PM. Second race at 8PM or 10 minutes after the last rider finishes the first race.

Where? Saltsburg, PA (Specifics handed out to the invited only)

Why? Cause you can’t 2Xcross enough.

Details:
Entry fee-One six pack of beer. You are welcome to drink your entry fee or that of the other racers before you leave, (please be responsible), while you are racing, between races, or after the races. I’m keeping what’s left.

MTB-XCROSS-SS friendly.

Awards/prizes=none but the glory, and maybe a picture with a “podium” girl.

Course description-tougher than you think. Tight twisty off camber turns, 2 run-ups, 2 sets of barriers. Fast, fun, challenging.

Live music-if you bring it

Camp fire-s’mores, hot apple cider, hot chocolate.

Awesome spectator location where you can view 90% of the course, by the fire.

Second race will require lights-maybe even the first. (Additional sets of lights, may be available on a first come first shine basis)

Toying with the thought of a kid’s race if there is any interest

You do not have to race to come out and enjoy the scene

Highly encouraged to get there early enough to pre ride the course before the race

Must sign a hold harmless waiver, plus a temporary last will and testament.

DOUBLE CROSS WAIVER

I KNEW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO AND ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY For:
• Racing Double Cross
• Watching Double Cross
• Double Cross Kids
• Driving to and from the events
• Eating hot s’mores, apple cider, hot chocolate, choking on tortilla chips, ect
• Sitting by a camp fire
• Stray gunfire, explosives and or direct or indirect meteor strikes
• Anything else not specifically mentioned, but might occur during any of the events on this date, or the preceding 62 months, or at anytime from this point forward till the end of time/second coming.
I realize that bike riding is inherently dangerous. Racing bikes even more so. Racing cyclocross bikes raises that threat to a higher level. Racing cyclocross bikes at night is even more phenomenally hazardous. Racing cyclocross bikes, at night on a course designed by Mike is frankly dodgy at best and potentially life threatening at worst. I get all that, yet still chose to take part in the Double Cross Event. I hold Mike Maher, Dave Zielinski, their heirs, family, friends, pets, chickens, Walker Way Estates, Fast Like Pancakes Race Promotions, and anyone else associated with, even knows about this race, or anyone just passing thru COMPLETELY HARMLESS. I know this is antithetical to our society, but I personally take 100% accountability and responsibility for any and all actions and the potential results for any fortunes and or misfortunes that may befall me as a result of direct or indirect participation in any of the festivities associated with said events.

Temporary Last Will and Testament
In the event that I should die or be rendered partially or totally unable to ride my bike as result of anything that occurs today, I accept full responsibility for the incident and herby bequeath my bike and any and all cycling related equipment to Mike. If the stuff doesn’t fit, doesn’t work, smells bad, or is crap, Mike has the right to donate said ill fitting, broken, smelly crap to his favorite charity or use it as fuel to keep the fire going.


NAME DATE

Self-Fulfilling Prophesy

A couple days before a recent Xterra off road triathlon, I had posted a Facebook status about perhaps having the wrong tool for the job. I was questioning my decision to bring my single speed mountain bike to a race of which I had no knowledge. Would a bike with only one gear be the right tool for the job? As the race got closer, the anxiety over my decision rose. Little did I know that bike choice would turn out to be the least of my worries.

As I pulled into the race venue I stepped our of my wife’s car just in time to hear an announcement over the loudspeaker. “Attention racers! Wetsuits will NOT be allowed in today’s swim leg.” WHAT? I’m a terrible swimmer and the wetsuit provides me extra flotation and some stream lining to greatly enhance my abilities. Being on the scrawny side, I have a tendency to sink, not float if I’m not moving in the water. The wetsuit kind of provides me a mental life preserver, cause you can’t sink while wearing one. I never swam a ½ mile in open water without one. Oh and I’m afraid of water. Needless to say my nerves were jumping out of my skin.

The race starts with the blast of the gun. I’m in and swimming across West Branch Reservoir with a hundred or so of my fellow racers. Much to my surprise, the swim went well. I never felt like I was going to die (like usual) and actually maintained a respectable pace. I came out of the water and ran the ¼ mile to the transition area, imagining how I was going to reel in all those bastards that swim well once I got them into my preferred element…dirt, rocks and woods. I’m pumped and ready to get cracking.

I tear into the transition, find my spot, throw on my helmet and riding glasses and reach for my shoes. Then it hits me. I’ve got the wrong DAMN shoes. In the rush to pack the day before, I packed my road shoes, not my mountain bike shoes. If you are reading this and don’t know, bike racing shoes have a special cleat that actually hooks into the peddle to allow you to both pull up on the pedals as well as push down and also keep your foot planted firmly on the peddle so it can’t slip off. Typically the cleats and pedals for road and mountain bikes are not compatible. This is the case with my setup. My race is over. I start to think how to find the race director to tell him I’m done and not in the bottom of the lake. I’m in a daze wondering around the transition kicked myself for bringing the wrong shoes. And it hits me. My shoes are in my truck. I run my bike to the edge of the transition hop the fence and run a couple hundred yards towards my truck. CRAP! I don’t have my truck with extra gear; I have my wife’s car. No extra bike gear, but some nice sweaters if I should catch a chill. Unbelievably, in my oxygen-depleted state of panic, I forgot what vehicle I was driving. Race over.

Dejected and pretty pissed, I shuffle back towards the transition, trying to find a puppy to kick. I step back over the fence and catch my foot on the top and topple to the ground in front of all the friends and fans watching. As I hit the ground, my head snaps from dismay to WTF. Can’t get worse right? I will not be denied. I will finish. I run back and grab my running shoes and slap ‘em on. I sprint back to my bike and hop on. Off I go. By this time, just about the entire field has gotten ahead of me on the bike. Into the woods I go and even in running shoes I’m picking people off quickly. The course has very little elevation change and the single speed was a fine choice. Unfortunately this trail network must get a lot of use and there are lots of very rooted up sections where tree roots are exposed and slippery. Without being clipped in, I can keep my feet on the peddles for a couple roots in a row but a long series inevitably knocks my feet forward and off the peddle forceing the crank arm to wrap around and smack me in the back of the calf. As I work thru the field, I’m feeling pretty good. All the time thinking how fun this would be with the right shoes. As I finish the bike leg, I’m feeling pretty good having made up a lot of time on most of the field. I’m way too far back to have an impact on the race results, but feeling pretty strong.

I’m into the transition for the second and last time. My “strategy pays off” I have the fastest T2 time in the race! Of course not having to change shoes really helps the transition times. The 10 seconds I save here probably won’t make up the 10 minutes lost in my debacle. Onto the run. It’s a nice wooded trail run. Rocky and rooty with lots of short steep ups and downs. I’m catching and passing some runners and feeling pretty good. I’m flowing along pretty well till the tri gods decide that I still need to pay my penance for some unknown sin. I hit I the top of a little crest and accelerate to take advantage of a little gravity. I’m cruising along down hill when WHAM! My toe catches an unseen root and I’m super-manning across the trail. Full on head first slide, just like stealing third base. I hit with enough impact to actually take some skin off of my armpits. Before I can get up I find my self-laughing. Yes actually laughing out loud. Today is not about finishing high, but rather finishing and enjoying the effort. The last couple miles will be the best of the day.

Fawn Grove Roubaix

Fawn Grove Roubaix

Road bike race with a couple sections of dirt road thrown in and some minor climbs; sounds like fun. Throw in a couple teammates making the trip East and I was in! With my mountain bike background, I like to think I can handle a road bike in bad conditions as well as most so I figured I might do well with a sketchy section of road or two. So sitting in the parking lot prerace, my confidence level was high. So high in fact that I decided to race my road bike (skinny tires) versus the cyclocross bike (wider higher volume tires) thinking my bike handling skills would be more than enough compensation.

Ever notice how things usually don’t go exactly like you had envisioned? Well that’s about how the FGR shook out for me. The race started in typical fashion except there was not a whole lot of sitting in at the start of the race. EVERYONE wanted to be at the front for the first section of pave (French for shitty road). So if there were wrecks, flats, slow riders you wouldn’t get caught behind. Although this is an excellent strategy, it creates some chaos when the entire field has the same game plan. The pace seemed pretty high right from the gun and I had drifted back to midpack coming into the first 90-degree turn onto the first section of gravel road. I surged up the outside of the pack coming into the turn and picked up some places so I was about 10th onto the gravel.

In my typical meticulous prerace preparation, I had not bothered to preride the course. But I did talk to a couple folks who did. There were stories of heinous climbs and deep gravel, but these are bikers who are only second to fishermen in their propensity to exaggerate. So I kind of took their comments with a rock of salt.

Now anyone who has ever been on a couple group road rides has heard the shrill cry of warning that tears thru the group when there is a tiny patch of gravel in a corner. I mean 5-10 grains of gravel will totally freak out seasoned road veterans with 1000’s of miles under their belts. Frankly coming from mountain biking I always thought it was kind of silly till I went down in an off camber corner while riding one day. So with that in mind I was completely unprepared for what awaited me on the first section of gravel road. I had imagined sections or patches of bad road for a couple hundred yards, with decent lines thru those sections. What we got was 1.5 miles of FRESH gravel in the first section alone. In places it was an inch and half deep and loose. This was a road rider’s worst nightmare…but maybe even better for me.

I was now in 8th or 9th wheel sitting in comfortably. We were zipping along at about 23-25 mph on this first section of pave. My teammate, who was actually wise enough to ride the course the day before, was executing his game plan perfectly. He was keeping right at the front, out of all the trouble behind while sitting in 3rd. Not sure why, but a gap opened between 3 and 4. When it became obvious that no one was willing to stray off of the one decent line thru the gravel, where the most cars had compacted the gravel, and the gap began to grow I quickly realized that my opportunity to compete with the leaders was going up the road.
So with a typical complete lack of neither reason nor respect for my own safety, I strayed out into the heaviest gravel in the middle of the road to try and reel in the leaders. Surprisingly I felt good, really good as my bike fish tailed and slid thru the tire deep stones. I was easily accelerating past the string of riders when I caught a glimpse of speedometer. 33 MPH thru the gravel. Damn am I stupid or what? In my race-induced state of bike rationalization, I decided that I was safer without somebody squirrely in front of me, even though I was traveling way faster than the pack. After about a minute’s solid effort I was able to pull back the leaders and latched back on about 200 meters from the return to asphalt…then it happened BOOM! I blew a tire.

I changed the flat and spent the rest of the day riding thru the remnants of broken bikes, tires and bodies. There were 4 other sections of gravel road that we hit on each of 2 laps. Everyone had a handful of bikes and people scattered by the roads side. Some were changing flats. Others fixing bikes while still more nursed cuts and bruises from taking a digger in the gravel.

It was a good day and great fun. Obviously I wish I could have stayed in the fray a little longer, but that’s what next year is for. I will see you again Fawn Grove!